10 years ago…


I realized today, as I was sitting on to toilet in the office, that I forgot to add pictures to the book review that I meant to post today, so instead I needed to think of a new topic that I could write about. And idea hit me, like the best ideas tend to do, while I was still in the bathroom. Then, as I left the bathroom to collect my lunch and proceed to eat it in the backseat of my car while reading my book, I forgot about it. Yes. I do eat lunch in my car.

Then, after fighting with my computer and learning way more than needed about the terminal function on Mac OS, I recalled that I meant to write a post on the blog about something I thought up in the bathroom. Needless to say it took me a while to remember it, but here it is: Recently while driving I mentioned that 10 years ago Jess would be baffled at where I ended up.

I don’t have things from the past really, but thinking back to 15 year old Jess (Freshman in high school, or sophomore? I can’t remember) Either way it was 2006, I was getting into anime and getting back into Neo-pets. I lost a majority of friends and jumped around friend groups as a sort of “trial member”. I finally found a best friend for life in Sarah during science class. I also had no intentions of being the me I am today. A lot of schools have kids write a letter to their future self or even their past self, and I feel like if I would have done this, my past self would have been baffled, getting a letter from me.

Why? Well let’s see, if I think back on it hard enough…this is what 15 year old me envisioned for 25 year old me:

Living in a posh apartment in San Fransisco, CA on one of those steep streets. Still driving my yellow Jeep wrangler and working in graphic design (even though at the time I didn’t really understand what a career in the graphic design field even meant) probably in some equally posh business. I would have expected to be living that spinster life with no man even close to the picture, instead I imagined somewhere between 2 to 4 cats sharing my space with me, which obviously would be ample enough to be able to contain four cats and one person. (Like who can even afford that in San Fransisco? Not me.)

Now, what is 25 year old me actually doing?

Living in Katy, TX in a not-quite posh house on a very, very flat street. Driving a silver Jeep Renegade, that has four doors and no canvas roof. (But it does have ample trunk space!) Working in graphic design at a medium sized company in a little corner office with one other co-worker and an intern. Not living that spinster life, but instead living with my fiancé and planning a wedding, albeit very slowly, and with only one cat.

The only thing that is the same would be the job, other than that, I honestly think 15 year old me would be in utter shock. I can certainly remember that I never imagined myself in a relationship, let alone in a relationship that was heading towards marriage. I never spent my childhood planning a “dream wedding” and I didn’t really play house either. I romped around in the woods pretending I was a wild animal and poked snakes with pool noodles. Yet, here I am.

I think it’s interesting looking back and seeing how differently life turns out. I don’t regret where I’ve ended up at all, in fact I’m happy with where I’ve landed. I’m content living my little life in relative quiet. Did you ever write a letter to your future/past self? Are you living the life you imagined you’d be living 10 years ago?


By Jess

A bookworm since the tender age of whenever I stopped chewing on books and started actually reading them. A cat-mom, graphic designer, and introvert originally from Pittsburgh, but now resides in the humid, hot, state of Texas. Cheers!