A Mellow Life



I was thinking recently, mainly because Alex and I were talking about it, but I am 100% satisfied with a, what some would consider, a boring life. I like the day-to-day similarities of the 9 to 5 work day (Although I work a flex schedule so I actually have varied hours, but it still follows a weekly pattern). I wouldn’t mind doing the same thing every day with travel excursions here and there. I feel no need (at the moment) for some major next step to drastically shift my schedule (ie. children). Alex feels differently, he’s that guy who looks at life as stages, and the next stage we’d have would be kids. I mean, we’ve done every other “major” stage to date.

I don’t look at life in stages, but instead as just, well, life. Like a long time, unblemished, that I’ll add nicks to once I pass them, but I don’t have planned stages that I’m looking forward to, at least not long term. That’s why I used to expect that spinster life, which would 100% be full of repetitive day-to-day things, with a couple adventures thrown in there. I like to do things at my own pace.

I know people always say “You’ll change your mind.” and I always think that’s kind of rude. There’s no need to make me feel defective, or that I’m experiencing life at a slower pace than everyone else who already “changed their minds”. Let alone those people that seem intent on making you feel guilty about it like “Don’t you want your parents to have grand kids?” Like excuse you sir/ma’am, but I am not having kids for anyone’s sake but my own. I’m an independent creature who will do what I please, when I please. Honestly, you shouldn’t want me to have children for someone else’s sake, that is pretty high handed and rude to even suggest. Like telling you that “I think you do this life changing thing because your aunt wants you to, even if you don’t want to.” What?

I feel like the correct response to anyone saying they want to do ‘a big life change’ is generally: “Cool!” or “I wish you the best of luck”! Like when I moved to Texas I got a lot of “OMG YOU ARE SO GOING TO HATE IT!” and “Doesn’t your family want you to stay?” Yes, of course my family would have preferred I stay close, but now they have fabulous travel options for the crappy PA winters, oh and you know, they support my choices. PS. I don’t hate it, and even if I did, since I’ve been told I would it makes me want to like it even more just to be contrary. (But I still won’t say ya’ll it’s forever ‘You guys’)

I don’t know if it makes me weird to enjoy the same thing every day. Waking up, going to work, eating lunch, working some more, coming home, doing chores, having fun on the weekends, taking vacations here and there, and whatever else is on the schedule. But that’s just what floats my boat, and if later on, I decide something else might float my boat….like opening a cat sanctuary on 20 acres of land to house 100 old cats, or having a child, then by golly I’ll do it when I damn well please, and when I’m damn well ready to do it. Don’t rush me. Don’t shame me. And please adopt older cats, they are stuck in shelters for such a long time that it makes me cry just thinking about it and god I love cats so much I want to save them all.

Anyone else feel like I do? Or am I actually defective? I don’t even know the point of this post, I just wanted to ramble a bit. It’s my blog, I’ll do what I want!


By Jess

A bookworm since the tender age of whenever I stopped chewing on books and started actually reading them. A cat-mom, graphic designer, and introvert originally from Pittsburgh, but now resides in the humid, hot, state of Texas. Cheers!

  • It’s easy to say you want to do life in stages, but you just never know what will happen or how things will change or how you’ll change, so I really just think about life one year at a time. If you want kids or don’t, then that’s up to you and don’t let anyone guilt you either way! 🙂

    • True, I feel like that’s why I never really looked at life in big stages before! I’m like you, I like thinking year by year and setting little goals! I’ll just see where it takes me!

  • Totally agree! I like where I’m at currently and who I am. Life is so rushed and we’re always trying to become someone new and better or get to that next step in life not realizing how great the “now” actually is until it’s too late!

    • Totally! The more I tried to plan a “perfect future” in college, the more stressed I became. I really like the whole “living in the now” and enjoying life day by day. It’s helped me mellow out and not get too stressed! 🙂

  • Kay

    I freaking love this post!! Mainly because I, like you, love the ‘boring’ routine of life. And honestly – I love that you are fine to not want kids right now (or ever if that’s your choice!) Choosing to have children should 100% be for you and no one else. We planned to have our daughter, and always thought we’d have three kids. But after her, I realized nope, I just want the one. And not because it was so hard, or that she was a terrible baby (she was the easiest baby ever), but it just felt right to stop. I STILL get the question of “Don’t you want her to have a sibling to grow up with?” and the answer is no, I don’t. End of story. I don’t want more children.
    Sorry to write you a novel comment! But I just so agree with taking life as it come. I’ve never been a stages gal either. Live your life the way you want, for you! It’s the only one you get!

    • I hate that people seem to think that she needs a sibling! I’m an only child, and I hated that people (mainly adults) seemed to pity me for not having siblings. Geez! I don’t know why people feel the need to try and get so involved in people’s families/lives! And don’t worry, I like the novel comment! We just gotta take life one day at a time and not worry about what ideas people try to project on us! 😀

  • I adore everything about this post! I’m loving these self-reflective essays that you’re doing. They’re wonderful.

    And you and I are totally in the same boat here. I feel like not having traditional life goals is only the business of the person who’s goals they are. Everyone assumes that Fiance and I are going to have babies. At this point in time, we do not want babies. We want puppies. We also don’t want to have a totally conventional wedding. Guess who’s problem that is? Ours.

    I’m with you, girl. STAND STRONG! Do you. 🙂

    • Gotta stand strong!!! It’s always freaked me out when we go to family gatherings and all the aunts always come over to tell me “Oh he’s going to be a wonderful father!” and I always deadpan stare at them and reply “Yes, for our cat-children.” We also want a sort of non-conventional wedding, but thankfully my parents eloped, so they can’t say anything (They actually keep pestering us to elope too) hahaha! So I’m thankful for that!

  • This is so accurate, hahah. Most would say that my life is quite boring…actually last week one of my friends told me I was more content with my life than anyone she knew (not sure if that was an insult or compliment). The new trend seems to be that you’re supposed to spend your 20’s skipping across the globe and trying new things. But what if I just want to relax under a nice tree and read?! Can’t do that if I’m too busy doing crazy shit all over the world lol. I’m also comforted by repetition, so…yeah.

    And what is the deal with everyone thinking all women need to have children? I don’t think I want any, and what people say to me a lot is “Well, it’s different when you have your own.” Uhhhm ok, but I’m not going to have children I don’t want just to find out! Hahah.

    • EXACTLY! All of these things!! I mean, I’d love to travel all over the world and all, but how are all these people affording it? I need to keep my job and pay bills, and take care of my cat! I am also comforted by repetition and sitting under trees just reading. That sounds like the perfect way to spend the day to me!